How come you still need this stuff explained to you?

What does the term “privilege” actually mean?

What kinds of daily experiences, besides sexual harassment, really grind women’s spirits down?

Why can’t we all just be individuals and not identify so much with demographic groups?

Why isn’t it a personal attack or reverse racism/misogyny if someone references men or white men in particular?

Seriously, progressive white dude, why don’t you already know the answers to these questions? …

Too much quantity with not enough quality was causing problems

My husband James and I have been together for close to 30 years, most of them as a married couple. …

Because you’re more likely to annoy her than make her hot

The conventional wisdom is that everyone knows that porn is entertainment, that it isn’t real sex. …

But they do fear the loss of “traditional” culture and they don’t know what else to call that

The first time that I heard someone talk about socialism in the context of the recent election, I laughed — the kind of laugh where you snort and then giggle a little bit. Fortunately, it wasn’t to anyone’s face, and when I did hear it in person again, later on, I was able to keep from snorting (at least out loud). Joe Biden is a lot of things, not all of them positive, but a socialist is not one of those things. …

If you don’t develop the skills to keep defining your relationship for yourself, it’s probably not going to work

There’s a woman in my Facebook polyamory group who is in a monogamous relationship. She stays a part of our group because that just happens to be the configuration she is in and wants to be in right now. She is not necessarily a monogamist; she just only wants to be with this particular person at this point in their lives. She hasn’t definitively rejected polyamory. Instead, what’s she’s rejecting is the notion that she has to fit into someone else’s relationship paradigms and since that’s a core aspect of polyamory, she continues to be a part of the group.

Mary (as I’ll call her here) has been in polyamorous relationships for many years. …

Should you expect the Teamsters to hone in on the issues of the Screen Actor’s Guild?

This was excerpted from a discussion I had with yet another man who was sure that it is feminism and not patriarchy that is the source of all of his troubles. …

Moving away from monogamy and heterosexuality dismantled that notion

My husband James is a tall, Nordic-looking guy in the same vein as actor Alexander Skarsgard. That’s my type, or so I have always thought. It’s not that I never dated anyone who didn’t look like that (not Sakarsgard in particular, I wish, but the tall, Nordic type), but it was always my preference and the guys I dated always had some similarity. If they weren’t tall and Nordic, they were at least blonde. The boyfriend with dark brown hair was at least very tall and had that similar lithe build.

I understand that you don’t always have control over who you are attracted to, but I also know from personal experience that this type of preference can broaden. …

You’ll probably get everything you want, and more…

Some of the best times I’ve ever had in bed have been with two men. Sure, it’s fun to have the extra attention and the extra options that come with more hands, more mouths, and more penises. But even beyond that, when I’m with my husband and another guy, the traditional sexual expectations and dynamics are disrupted and that’s what makes space for all kinds of possibilities. This is in large part because when I’m with two men, I’m the one taking the lead.

I like to be with take-charge and confident people in sexual situations. Even the women I have sex with tend to have a lot of assertive energy. I love being held down or otherwise restrained as part of sex play, and it’s fun at times to be a body that’s being acted upon. My husband James has a move that always gets my engine revving where puts one arm under my head and grabs my wrist. My other hand is pinned between our two bodies. Then he uses his legs to grab one of mine and pull them apart. I am both close to him and completely at the mercy of whatever he wants to do with his free hand. …