You are absolutely right that we must celebrate and cultivate the men who want balance and harmony! Patriarchy hurts all but a few powerful men at the top of the dominance hierarchy. This is what all the recent talk about toxic masculinity is about; how it harms women (and children) but also how it isolates and destroys men too by forcing them into roles that don’t allow them to be authentic or whole. I can’t remember if I’ve already mentioned him to you, but Mark Greene writes a lot of good stuff here on Medium about that. He and organizations like the Good Men Project are working to dismantle “the man box” so that boys can grow up more whole and healthy, for both their benefit and the benefit of women and society.

And, women have been and continue to be so horribly abused that it’s little wonder that they are enraged and many are not yet ready to look at balance or compassion. The Kavanaugh stuff unleashed a new depth of anger and disgust, and perhaps that is needed for both catharsis and fuel before we can begin to turn towards a more collaberative place. Women have historically been tasked with smoothing things over, making men feel comfortable, creating collaboration — and so I understand the resistance to doing that now, just as I also understand that we can never create true healing in a polarized climate.

Hang in there with your female friends. They need men like you in their lives. Another Medium writer you might enjoy is John Gorman. He writes a lot of real, raw stuff about life, love, growth and healing.

Women are pissed as hell, and with good reason. They continue to get a whole lot of pushback for talking about this stuff. We live in a society where the president of the United States recently mocked and laughed about a victim for bravely coming forward. And that makes for better headlines than the men who are really working on themselves and on making a better society. In the short term, I think you may just have to keep plugging without a whole lot of recognition for doing so. But I see you and I appreciate your efforts and your willingness to talk about it all!

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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