Yes, and I understand that was what you were wanting in these instances — for your pain and trauma to also be seen and recognized. And, from my perspective that isn’t the way to go about it, to try to hijack someone else’s story for that purpose. If you don’t feel comfortable writing your stories out for public readership, you might consider just writing them for a select audience who you could trust to see and hear you and to care about what you’ve experienced. And if you don’t want to write it, to find a dedicated listener. This might be a friend, but friends (unless they have some training around all this) tend to want to fix or advise because they don’t necessarily understand how impactful simply receiving someone can be. A person trained to do this would be better — and my preference is for a coach rather than a counselor, although some of them have adopted some of these more coach-like techniques.

This 1.5 min video explains it really well, just how impactful it can be to hold space for someone in that way which then allows them to uncover not only their feelings but their internal power about what to do with those feelings.

Let me know what you think.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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