Words like adultery are meaningless in the kind of relationship that we have and the traditional meaning of the word cuckold is out of date anyhow. That’s not the current meaning of that word — because the meaning of words evolves over time; it’s not a static thing. Unlike you, I have never attacked your personal life and have only made comments about your ability to debate coherently. You have continually tried to disparage my choices, lifestyle and self-expression as being prima facie unacceptable and worthy of derision. And then you have the temerity to call me nasty simply for providing further evidence of how unsupported your assertions are. 🙄

That is very misleading to say those are all attacks.” No, it’s absolutely not misleading at all when you understand how psychologically and physiologically damaging verbal harassment can be. I’ve already cited you plenty of research that indicates that this is true. That it can cause PTSD, heart issues, etc. There is no countervailing scientific evidence that contradicts this, so your “opinion” is of no consequence because it is based in nothing more than your bias.

I only became condescending to you in response to your continued rudeness, insensitivity and complete evasion of well made points (e.g., the CDC statistics). That doesn’t perhaps make it my finest hour, but it’s a bit rich to be lectured on civility by someone who kicked things off with condescension and proceeded from there, all the while oblivious to their own incivility.

And I’ll say it one last time — you don’t get to have a difference of opinion about statistics and facts, not unless you provide some sort of statistical or factual evidence that supports that. And you’ve not provided any of that in any of this discussion. You’ve continually fluctuated between calling those who are rightly concerned about all this hysterical and then swinging the pendulum to the far other side to act like you actually are an advocate of some kind. It’s either a problem or it isn’t — you can’t have it both ways. And it’s a problem of the magnitude that the statistics deem (not you), unless you can demonstrate in some meaningful way why that isn’t so. You have so far not even attempted to do so.

You have not provided any constructive suggestions for addressing this issue when you are admitting that it even is a problem. Apparently, we aren’t supposed to call anyone out on their bad behavior, because that’s shaming. We aren’t supposed to demand better treatment because that’s vitriolic. We aren’t supposed to require structural changes to our organizations, because those won’t be effective anyhow. Even though it actually is all beginning to make a difference. I’ve witnessed actual meaningful change in my own world as well as in the larger one.

What exactly are we supposed to do? Placate abusers some more? Sit nicely and smile some more through the tears, hoping that by some dose of magic a problem that has been called an epidemic by both the CDC and the WHO will somehow abate on its own? Hasn’t happened for the past 10,000 years — I don’t know why it would suddenly start now.

What exactly is your plan? Please provide some supporting citations as to why that might be effective?

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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