Wonderful piece! As you are probably already aware, James and I have been involved with an escort for over a year and a half. We have a really sane and healthy loving relationship with her. We see her because it’s a lot nicer and a lot less drama than the poly dating scene can be. She is smart, savvy, funny, warm, and real in the way that few people I have ever met are. That’s in part because she is doing something that is so outside of the norm of what is considered acceptable behavior, that she’s had to do a lot of work on her own authenticity. Tamara’s family and friends know what she does. She even broke down and told her grandmother a while back. Gran said, “If I had had your body, I’d of done the same thing!”

I’m sure most people don’t believe that she has actual feelings for us, and think that we are deluded, and that’s fine. I don’t need the approval of others to love my life. Sex work is just work, and provides a lot of good in the world. As with most things, it’s not all one thing or the other. People who do this purely for money and don’t find it enjoyable or empowering are chipping away at their soul, and trafficking is a horrendous thing. People who really like that kind of work should be left alone to live their lives. Being a lawyer or a doctor purely for the money is a lot worse.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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