Women are trained from an early age that their appearance is for the enjoyment of men. They are supposed to be sexy, but not sexual and everything is seen through the lens of the male gaze. Sometimes a woman in a skimpy outfit is looking for attention, but she might also just be wanting to inhabit her own sexuality because that feels good and empowering — and sexy to her. I didn’t experience what that felt like until I was well into my 40s and we went to a sex club — a place where I could dress in any way that I wanted to for my own self-expression, and not have that taken to mean I was asking for or inviting anything. Ironically, it’s the only public place that I’ve ever felt truly safe embodying my full sexual self.

My one addition to this fine piece is that a female who is over the age of 18 is not a girl — she’s a woman. 😉

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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