What I learned in my college Human Sexuality class (way back in the 80s) was that sexuality is a spectrum — one with very few people truly on one end or the other. Most people are a little bit (or a lot) bisexual, and it’s really mostly conditioning and opportunity that keeps them from acting on that. As I said to Marley in another comment, the US in particular, is a deeply homophobic country because it’s such a deeply patriarchal one. Anything construed as female or feminine is considered less than. Women have sex with men, so if men have sex with men, it means they are like women — less than.

In a world where you’re taught as a guy to constantly joust for position in the dominance hierarchy, letting yourself be in a situation where there’s not a built in pecking order (or where you might feel one down) is uncomfortable and largely unacceptable. It’s why so many guys don’t want to be in a threeway with another guy — because in that situation the woman is really the lead and for some guys, beside the being naked with another man present, they are uncomfortable with the dynamics of mating being turned on it’s head. They want and expect to be the leader in the bedroom.

It’s one of the things that been so wonderful about finding a man that I like, that James is also interested in. There’s none of that BS going on and we can all just have fun together. When we lived near and got to spend time with Nat, my other partner, the guys were never intimate with each other — but neither were they particularly concerned about there being another man present. They both found the MFM dynamic really hot -and I definitely do! 😁 Although to be honest, James said that whenever I’d leave the room for a moment they would both suddenly become a lot more interested in the ceiling…. lol! Two naked guys who aren’t into each other sitting on a bed does make for an atypical situation!

Looking forward to reading what you write about that when you get it published.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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