Well, who really knows, but 15 years ago being gay wasn’t nearly as accepted as it is now. I have no idea why bi-sexuality is still so mysterious and doubted since I think that most of us are at least a little bit bi-sexual, but one can only hope that it too will become more accepted in time. Of course, in 15 years, I may not particularly care….. although it is quite possible that I’ll be one of those randy old women who is never “too old” for sex.

Trying to gauge real attraction and interest is always a bit nuanced and I think that most women (who have presented as hetero for most of their lives) are used to being the “pursued” rather than the initiator. Hopefully that too will shift in time also. But even in a club environment, there is no guarantee that the woman is particularly into women or interested in you specifically. There’s still an element of risk and vulnerability. I have more than once “appreciated” my husband for being a good wingman but I have to say that the times that I’ve come on to women have been really freeing and exhilarating. It’s like discovering a new aspect of myself that has been dormant and I have very much enjoyed uncovering that part of myself. I talked about this a little bit in What the Vanilla World Can Learn About Consent From a Sex Club. Best of luck to you on your journey.

Oh, actually now that I re-read, it was in Kissing Women, which you’ve already read, where I talk about pursuing women. Anyway…..

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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