Very glad for the people who are out there saying this stuff. Polyamory is not an escape from your problems and you’ll have a lot of new ones if you don’t start with a good foundation. We opened up our long term relationship when it was at it’s strongest and healthiest and still went through a lot of transition mess because there are all kinds of complications that are tough to forsee no matter much you’ve talked about things in advance. And even then, we both had to do some additional work on ourselves and our relationship before it got to the place of smooth sailing. It only stays smooth because we are now very, very selective about who else we invite into our bed or our lives. Frankly, I don’t think that most people really do what they need to to be in this lifestyle in a healthy way (I’ve heard a couple of stories of guys who had one partner his wife knew about and one she didn’t, and we’ve experienced our fair share of lying and unconscious behavior). It can be really freeing and beautiful, but you def gotta do the ground work first or it’s just going to be relationship hell on steroids!

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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