Verbal consent is mostly only necessary if you cannot read the non-verbal cues and body language being given. I’ve asked for verbal consent with women before and it hasn’t killed the vibe. More likely it’s because someone is “afraid if I actually ask she might say no, and I don’t want to face possible rejection.” The ultimate deciding factor is what does the other person want. Most guys are socialized to be assertive and go after what they want, but when it comes to consent, what your partner wants is always the deciding line and ascertaining what they want should be a higher priority than pursuing what you want, no matter whether you are a man or woman pursuing a man or a woman. End of story, in my book.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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