True self-responsibility (not the JBP kind) is demanding, but also the most powerful place in the world to stand. When you see how you have contributed to a situation (whether a little or a lot) and take responsibility, but not blame, for that situation or at least your part in it, then you have the possibility of changing it, or doing it differently next time. You are then the author of your life and not someone who merely reacts to what happens to him.
We all also have things to overcome that are beyond personal demons and extend to things like non-serving socialization, other people’s expectations, the rules of religion that may or may not still fit, etc. To really look hard at yourself in the face of all of that and decide who you actually want to be is the job of true adult! There aren’t a lot of those out there, so I applaud you for it.