Those are my love languages as well and neither one is something Nat offers much of. He’s so busy and someone who gets very compartmentalized and so if he’s full on in one compartment, then there isn’t much room for me at that time — plus, there’s the distance thing. But when he does give me him, he gives it fully.
When we were first together there were a few more words of affirmation, but now it’s like “you know how I feel so I shouldn’t have to say it.” He does tell me via songs he sends, but it’s not quite the same. And, it’s all been a huge lesson in letting someone love me the way they are capable of doing so, rather than me trying to get him to change. I’ve made a few specific requests here and there and he’s tried to honor those, but mostly it’s been me saying to myself, “If I want this, I have to take it how it comes.”
Fortunately James is my time and attention plus lots of affirmation guy so I’m getting my preferred love languages somewhere….. lol!