The whole purpose of dating (rather than say, arranged marriage) is to have the opportunity to explore relating to different people and hopefully finding one who is a good match for you, as you are for them. The fact that yesterday’s date enjoyed the time together but ultimately felt like it wasn’t what she was looking for is no reflection on you as a person. It just wasn’t the right match, the right pheromones or what have you. You should thank her for not leading you on so that you can now turn your attention to finding someone who is a better match for you.

The relationship escalator teaches that we need to find someone, anyone, to take things to the next level with rather than letting relationships find their true level. Being willing to wait for the right person to have sex with, the right person to move in with, or the right person to marry rather than whomever you can each get to go to that next place with you, will probably lead to happier, healthier coupling in the long run.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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