The two choices are not dominance hierarchy and anarchy — they are dominance hierarchy and hierarchy of actualization. This was all in the OP.
Hierarchies of actualization are employed in partnership-oriented structures to create cohesion and order in a way that is not based in intimidation or for the purposes of maintaining top-down rankings. “Egalitarian and equitable adult relations are the norm. Parenting is not authoritarian but authoritative. Beliefs and stories present empathic, mutually beneficial, nonviolent relations as normal, moral, and desirable.” This is in contrast to the domination stories that “justify and idealize domination and violence, which are deemed inevitable, moral, and desirable.” Such is the case in the state, the family and the workplace, as well as all other aspects of society. The Center for Partnership Studies
Partnership-based structures (in the family, workplace, or civic arena) don’t have to mean that everyone has equal say, or that there is no hierarchy or leadership at all. The goal is not anarchy. But instead of creating an in-group and an out-group, or having some people with vastly more power than those around them, the goal is to have real cooperative relationships that yield the best results for everyone.
Demands for subordination and obedience are replaced with mutual respect and collaboration. Stratification based on arbitrary elements like gender, race, or class are unnecessary and serve no purpose. Achievement based solely on merit is fully possible.
Having worked on Habitat houses before, I’m going to venture that a hierarchy of actualization rather than domination was probably in place.