The struggle is real! My mate is also a really wonderful, loving and supportive man who tends to say, “Tell me what to do and I will.” We’ve had this conversation again recently about how being the manager of our lives is a job in and of itself, and an unpaid job at that — and it’s one that I’m slowly backing away from.
He does cook a lot of our weekend meals but was recently annoyed that the sink was full of dirty dishes and the pan he wanted to use wasn’t clean. I told him that if I don’t do the dishes, they don’t get done, and I was tired and had other things I wanted to focus on. I also pointed out that if I’m sick or otherwise indisposed, he has no trouble tidying things up and feeding the dog, and getting our son up, etc., but if I’m there, he tends to leave those things for me unless asked. I think he’s beginning to see that I’m not making this shit up and he’s actively trying to do better, but these are deeply ingrained habits for so many men.