Thanks Rachel — I keep encountering men who seem to use “that’s a feminist perspective” as a way to dismiss what women are trying to say about their personal experiences. I have no problem with feminism, except that the term is now used like a weapon.

I actually had a man say to me the other day that even though what I was saying was well presented, he still looked at me as though I were some kind of feminist “pamphleteer” (his words). It was only after he’d read more of my stuff and realized what an unconventional life that I lead that he was able to acually listen to what I was saying. This was my point with this piece — to try to cut through some of that. I don’t know what it will take to get through to more men; for them to realize that this is about real life and not some kind of dogma? I hope this piece might help.

I completely agree that feminism is simply naming and seeking to address a problem and is in no way responsible for creating it.