Thanks for your response. I think you are on track with much of what you’ve said but are actually the one who is oversimplifying in some places. First of all, I haven’t blamed men at all in this piece. I’ve been taking a look at a certain type of man and tried to figure out what drives his behavior from a sociological perspective.

Then there’s this — “that is, women who have the looks and intelligence to choose their lives can pick carefully through the fruit.” As you may remember I said in this piece that I was considered conventionally attractive enough in high school to routinely be asked if I were a model. I was in honors programs academically — and, I still didn’t have any dates in high school until nerdy Roger finally asked me out at our graduation party. I did not have access to any fruit of any kind at that point in my life, despite seeming to have access to all the stereotypical advantages.

I know a lot about the lonely woman, because I was her, despite have looks, and brains, and personality. I dated a bit more in college than I did in high school, but it’s a fallacy for anyone to imagine that just because someone’s outer life checks a certain number of boxes, that they are all set. And this is a part of what I address in this piece as relates to men who think that.

The reason that I haven’t analyzed women in the same way is that they are not behaving publicly the way that incels are. They are not going on shooting sprees to kill men whilst blaming all men for their inability to get a date, or shooting up schools because they’ve become emotionally disconnected from society at the hands of the dominance hierarchy (which isn’t theoretical, nor mine). My interest is generally around figuring out an explanation for why something is taking place. I know why lonely women are lonely. I don’t feel the need to explore that topic.

As for the evolutionary psychology tropes about what women want in men, here’s my latest piece that explores the current science that shows once again, how it’s not really that simple or cut and dried.

“It’s also said that women are “the more social sex,” so they’re obviously less visual, more interested in things like personality, money, status, and power.

Women also have more options than men and therefore are much more selective, because they have more reproductive value than a man, so they’re less oriented to have sex with just anyone they find visually appealing, right?

Makes perfect sense, right? Wrong.

Both of these notions scientifically aren’t accurate.”

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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