Thanks for your inquiry about my son. We’re still working on the seizure thing, but overall he’s good.

There’s a difference between attraction and fetishization. Lots of people have a general type they find attractive, but when you don’t know anything about someone other than what category they fit into, that’s turning them into an object — a fetish. They are no longer an individual.

When you’re judging a person based solely on their racial background, you’re acting on generalizations you’ve learned to associate with that person’s appearance or heritage. People who’ve been fetishized also report a noticeable thrill from their partner whenever they give into whatever role is expected of them.”

According to an article from the Washington and Lee Journal of Civil Rights and Social Justice, the “Asian fetish” syndrome is born out of the male desire for dominance and the stereotype of Asian women as individuals open to domination.[14] For example, following the 1970s and a peak in the American feminist movement, many white men turned to mail-order bride companies in search of a loyal, understanding, and subservient partner. They saw women of their own race as too career-oriented and strong-willed. Asian women were the antithesis to their perception of white women.[14] While white women resisted powerlessness and subjugation to the white man, Asian women were seen as open to the subjugation, even depicted as enjoying it.[14]

Fetishization doesn’t only take place around race. Ask any woman who's a redhead or chubby women who go on Tinder. Hell, I narrowly avoided going on a date with a much younger guy who I thought liked me for me and just happened to appreciate middle-aged women. I figured out at the last minute that it was actually a fetish. No thanks! Men tend to fetishize more than women do because they are more likely to have been socialized to objectify women — although it runs the other way at times too. A lot of black guys are assumed to have a BBC. I’m sure they are just as tired of being fetishized as anyone else who has experienced that.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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