Thanks for your comment Elisa and you are absolutely right that polygamy is also patriarchal. I don’t know anything about manga and how non-monogomy might be portrayed there, but one of the hallmarks of polyamory is that nobody “owns” anybody or has the right to make decisions for them and this was the contrast I was trying to make. The things in polyamory that are most valued are honesty, good communication, doing your own emotional work to better know yourself and deal with things like jealousy. I wrote this a little while back, about what I’d learned about love from non-monogamy. If it interests you, check it out.