Thanks for weighing in E. L. Byrne. This is precisely my point: everyone gets to have better, more intimate and trusting relationships when they get to be who they actually are, rather than needing to fit into some kind of boxes of acceptable (or aspirational) behavior for their gender. And this is particularly so when part of your gendered box includes the domination of the other gender.

al·pha male


  1. the dominant male animal in a particular group.
  2. “two of them trotted over to greet the alpha male, a black wolf with a graying muzzle”
  • a man tending to assume a dominant or domineering role in social or professional situations.
  • “most alpha males need to control the women in their lives”

I like to use the example of polyamory, not because everyone should become poly, but because that kind of lifestyle means there are no inherent rules or boxes. You must co-create and negotiate your relationship with everyone with whom you are involved and this leads to greater openness, honesty, respect and to more people actually getting their needs met. And I feel sorry for people who don’t have that, whether they be monogomous or not.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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