Thanks for this. James and I have been monogamish for the past 5 years or so, after being together for over 20 years, so it was a big transition. After some bumps early on, we settled into a good place, but still only see other people together. For the most part this is fine with me, but I was happy to read not only that you started out that way, but that it transitioned some later on for you.

I got really clear about a year in that I didn’t want to be husband/wife any more. Not that I wanted to get divorced, but that I wanted to be in a partnership and not in the constraints of a box that someone else had designed. I guess a part of that quest for autonomy that still chooses each other would like to have something in my life that he is not a part of. And in the meantime, I’m pretty darn happy with the way things are.