Thanks for linking my piece on bad boys and for expanding on it. When I see a homely man with a really beautiful woman, what I think is, “He must be a really lovely guy, who treats her like gold.” I think that because there are plenty of handsome, rich, assholes out there and she’s no-doubt had her fair share of them and has wised up. I think of Paulina Porzikova and Ric Ocasek as the poster kids for this. She could have anyone she wants, and sure he’s rich and a rock star, but there are handsome, rich, rockstars gallore. Why was she with such a funny looking guy? He must be a more decent human being than some of her other choices. Their marriage didn’t last forever, but it lasted almost 30 years — a lot longer than most celebrity couplings.
I’ve been pondering why so many men don’t want to admit that patriarchy has fucked them over as well and taught them these stupid ideas. I explored it in this piece on Blackpills but it applies more broadly than that, I think. If you admit that there is something wrong with the dominance hierarchy, then you are kind of admitting that you haven’t succeeded in it, and that feels like failure and that there is something wrong with you. Meanwhile, if we’d all say this stupid social system isn’t doing any of us any favors and worked to change it, we’d all be better off.