Thanks — but it’s the dynamic of the dominance hierarchy that teaches boys that they should never be vulnerable, and risk rejection — that they should always be in control. Which, incidentally, is a big part of consent issues — where men don’t want to risk hearing no so they forge ahead, being dominant in the way that they have been socialized, never asking what the woman wants.

I don’t like that kind of behavior when I’m on the receiving end of it, but I also understand where it largely comes from. As I’ve already written, we teach men in particular to be insecure bullies and tyrannical children. Many figure out how to do better, but it takes some stellar effort to transcend the cultural narrative. And, we need to keep encouraging that.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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