Thank you and I just may do that. I do think that men and women really want to find ways to connect deeply and be good to each other. I just think that society teaches them both things that get in the way of that. Sincerity is great, but most people are being unconsciously run by their unexamined wounds and their programming. That needs to be dealt with as well because the conscious mind and its intentions are only a small part of behavior.

As good a relationship as my husband and I always had, it wasn’t until we opened up our marriage, 20 years in, that we started to really see all the ways that we were unconsciously bought into cultural ideas about what marriage looks like and means. As we deprogrammed ourselves from that and defined our relationship as we wanted it to be, we found a much more partnership-oriented way to live and love each other.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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