Tetsu, I thought of one more thing I wanted to put out there related to our conversation. You’ve said that you have never really bought into the rules and conventions of society, but I want to ask you this. When you are in the early stages of an intimate relationship, how much time do you spend sitting down and talking through what your needs and expectations are? And what I mean by that is how many hours each week, because that isn’t a one time, one hour conversation if you are truly co-creating a relationship with someone else.

If you haven’t spend several hours on an on-going basis doing that, it means that you are defaulting to societal norms which come out of your societal programming. You have no real idea how entrenched you truly are in societal norms until you start to actively challenge them and see which ones fit you and which ones don’t. I’ve always considered myself a bit of a rebel at heart, but I was subconsciously bought into a lot of stuff I had no idea was there. Whether you are in a relationship or not, I invite you to actively take a look at why you do the things you do, and why you think the way that you do about certain situations and notice how much of that is actually yours.

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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