So I do largely believe in this quote from Dr. King that, “”The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice”. And I also believe that we must co-create with the collective and the Universe in order for that to actually occur. Sitting back and saying it will all unfold just fine with healing intent is, I think naive. But beyond that, here is for me the real issue. Why on earth is #MeToo considered divisive? Particularly by someone like you? Every week we get a new clear example of just how much systemic inequality and injustice is baked in to nearly every company and institution in our country. We see how the cultures of these places turned a blind eye to blatant abusers and harassers, in many cases continuing to promote them, and simultaneously punishing those who report as the ones who are actually creating “a problem.” Calling that out and saying “No more!” should not be in the least bit controversial, and yet it is, not just for old, White, conservative men. This is a huge part of the issue in all of this! Why is that?
Cause-marketing is here to stay and any company that wishes to stay afloat is going to have to engage in it to some extent. More about that here:
I don’t have a lot more time to spend on this here, but I think to some extent the world/society is being shaken up like a snow globe. Men are seeing that the world isn’t actually how they always thought that it was, and their place in it is in is also in upheaval. This is incredibly uncomfortable. I see this all the time as a coach working with clients. Sometimes even something good like having a crisis resolve is very confronting for someone because they don’t know who they are now.
And, ultimately this is a good thing, because we desperately need to move into a space where people don’t live inside of so many boxes that have been built for them by other people. This is the deal with the whole “Man Box.” It’s not that traditional masculinity is inherently wrong. It is natural to and works well for some men, but it also isn’t who millions of other men are and they then get bullied and policed and shamed for not fitting into that narrow definition. Same goes for women, although they’ve been actively dismantling the box of hegemonic womanhood for over 50 years now. And it’s the social system of patriarchy that demands rigid gender roles and vilifies those who try to move outside of them. It’s patriarchy that deeply wounds men and extracts a high price from them for the small margin of advantage that they have — with only the Donald Trumps of the world having actual substantive advantage. But, because this is the ocean we’ve all been swimming in for so long, and on the surface it appears to largely work for men (even though it actually doesn’t) it’s difficult to acknowledge that you’ve participated in some way in creating your own pain. Then, because in the west we tend to look at societal issues through the lens of personal identity, it’s even harder to parse out what part any individual man has played in this and this adds to the uproar and the discomfort. These are my best thoughts on this anyhow, after much study and contemplation.