So essentially what you are saying is that you too have an issue with the constrictive boxes imposed by patriarchal society which demands certain things from men and certain other things from women and doesn’t allow for healthy embodiment of who somebody actual is. 😉

Fortunately, the perponderance of both men and women value partners who are caring and compassionate over how they are doing in their societaly imposed roles.

Here’s another good story that I thinks speaks to at least some of what you are saying in a very balanced manner.