She’s been trying to communicate and he’s refusing. Did you miss that part while you were busing pontificating?
Polyamory means different kinds of intimate connections that are all co-created by the participants. I have completely different expectations with all of my partners and they don’t get to hold me hostage if what they want is different than what I want — just as I don’t get to do that to them. We both/all need to do the emotional work necessary to try to come to a resolution — something that Drake is avoiding.
You are right about one thing in that they may find they they are ultimately not compatible because what they want is too different, but in the meantime, he is the one who is wrong for passive-aggressively trying to control her while refusing to do his own emotional work. You believing that is OK indicates that you don’t know the first thing about actual tantra.