“She just wanted to be herself in every circumstance, among whomever she was with. Not thinking about what was appropriate or not, or worse — what was socially accepted.” I liked this story a lot! This is a journey that I’ve been on the past 12 years or so, and in an even more accelerated version the past 5 when my partner and I opened up our marriage.
I write about it a lot, but the over-arching theme is not that everyone should necessarily become non-monogomous but about the ways that such a lifestyle allows you to be more of who you really are because there is less judgement of that; and the only rules are the ones which you negotiate with your partners. This means getting to know yourself and your needs better. It means learning to communicate and be honest and open more of the time. When people are real with each other and not constraining each other with artificial mores and expectations, then there is greater intimacy, connection and satisfaction. Interestingly, this culture is alive in well in what is otherwise considered immoral spaces, like sex clubs, which I’ve written about here: