Please stop telling women how to talk about their highly personal experiences. It’s shitty and also “not smart.” You have no real idea what you are talking about and trying to overlay your ideas around this on top of a dynamic that is way more nuanced and way more insidious that you can grasp is not in the last helpful. I know it makes you feel good to pontificate in these instances, but it’s really just adding insult to injury so if you actually care about being a good human being, just stop it and listen instead. And I’m not saying this because you are male. Plenty of men understand this topic.