Patriarchy is a societal term. It doesn’t particularly matter what goes on in individual households. The US is objectively a patriarchy by any measure of that word. It’s a dominance hierarchy where up until 50 years ago men were overtly preferenced by law and custom and many of those customs still remain, even if the laws don’t. For fuck’s sake — we elected a president who openly talks about how women ought to be treated like shit (to keep them in line) and grabbing them by the pussy.
I can’t even imagine why you find the term allies offensive.
noun, plural al·lies.
- a person, group, or nation that is associated with another or others for some common cause or purpose:
It’s not a binary world. There are more than just women and men out there. People who want to join with women to help create a better, less discriminatory world for those who have traditionally not been at the top of the dominance hierarchy are therefore most aptly described as allies.
On the other hand, pussy whipped is an offensive term which by it’s very existence and continued usage points to the existence of a patriarchy. It demonstrates how the presumed correct state of things is for a man to be in charge, rather than to share that role or allow a woman to have it. It indicates that a man must control his woman, and if he doesn’t, he gets called a part of her body that ought to be under his control also (by patriarchal thinking).