“One of the Ten Commandments of masculinity is “Thou shall not feel.” This kind of mind-heart disconnect begins when boys are in the early years of elementary school. You’ll see kindergarten and first-grade boys bringing stuffed animals from home to comfort them amid their fear of the social demands of school. They’ll even hold hands and put their arms around other boys and girls to show affection and express joy. By second grade, male indoctrination begins. Boys are sissies if they show fear, pain or heaven forbid the most taboo expression of all: crying.

For girls, that shift never really happens. Girls have the license to continue a full range of emotional expressions that is, except for one: anger. Girls get angry, of course, but it is taboo for them to express it. It is not feminine to get or express anger. This is a commandment that has caused women a world of grief into their adult lives. Ironically, anger is one of the few acceptable emotions sanctioned for boys to publicly express.

This a well documented pyschological and sociological phenomenon, and it’s also been shown how this suppression of emotions and this type of “be a man” indoctrination is a large part of the what drives so many men into isolation, depression, suicide and anti-social behavior like murder. Of course most men are not emotionless automatons, but this constant pressure to dampen what is there is very destructive.

And from further down in the article: “Although Paul is the one acting out and he could be labeled hormonal and the “drama queen,” Emma still gets the label. By being blunt and assertive she is labeled hormonal.

Why isn’t there a “drama king”? The sanctioned emotions for women and men to display operate with a double standard. What is okay for one, isn’t okay for the other?”

And there are thriving matriarchies today……. http://mentalfloss.com/article/31274/6-modern-societies-where-women-literally-rule

Written by

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store