One of the main socialization issues facing the male gender is the training males receive from birth to bury their feelings.

This socialization is carried out explicitly by men towards men in taunts and teases when a male shows emotional vulnerability.

You’ve just said here that men don’t have much muscle around accessing their feelings or showing vulnerability. But it also seems like you are saying that it’s wrong to ask them to do so, although a lot of research indicates that it’s literally killing a lot of men to live like this. I’m open to the possibility that in trying to undo 5 thousand years of outright oppression and subjugation of women, the pendulum may have swung too far the other way in some cases, but I don’t see what the solution is in what you’ve written.

My assertion is that people ought to be allowed to be whatever flavor of human they actually are without having to fit into binary boxes, which would include teaching everyone how to access and modulate their emotions. I see a lot of really emotional men on the inter webs, but because they have been taught that it’s weak to show emotion they don’t acknowledge that’s what is going on. Instead they then construct elaborate frameworks that appear to be intellectual and based in logic, until you scratch the surface and find it’s just all of their fears.

And those fears are then running the show from behind a curtain just like the Wizard of Oz. People (all people, not just men) need to learn to work on their wounded spots and make the unconscious places more conscious so they can act out of intention and choice rather than reflex. That’s how we all get to be whole human beings.

Written by

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store