“On Medium, I find Shannon Ashley, Jessica Wildfire, Darcy Reeder, and Elle Beau, who inspire me to add my voice to the narrative.” Thanks for the mention. These are some of my favorite Medium writers as well (and you too, of course)!

What’s most disheartening to me about this dynamic that you’ve described is that it’s upheld by women also. Not that long ago a female colleague, who considers herself a strong woman, told me that I was being aggressive. When I asked her to point out to me where specifically that was, she couldn’t. In fact, I was just being very direct and assertive. A few months ago another female colleague told me that I was being cold and hard during a disagreement with someone else because I was being very matter-of-fact and unemotional. It’s like you can’t fucking win! Too emotional; not emotional enough; too soft; too hard; too direct; too, too, too! I’ve over it and I’m not going to materially alter the way I am to make others more comfortable.

One of the great joys of getting older is that you have materially less fucks to give and start living more for what works for you rather than what others expect of you. It’s a huge relief to begin to do so. Enjoy!!

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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