OK, but what exactly is wrong with the Fatherly article? I’d say it nails all the nuances of this phenomenon and explains them all well. I come from a sociology background and it’s well established that masculinity is something that has to be earned and continually performed in patriarchal cultures, whereas being a woman is just something you are born to. Behaviors like street harassment noticeably accelerate when boys/men are in groups because they are all trying to “out man” each other. Patriarchy is a hierarchy and you have to continually jockey for your position in it, and it’s a zero-sum construct, where if you don’t win, you lose. This does, in fact, drive a lot of these problematic behaviors.

Again, I’ve clearly not read what you have, but I’ve never once seen a woman say that men are bad or that anything that is considered healthy masculinity is undesirable. Misogyny is not the belief that women are inferior; it’s the belief that women need to stay in their perceived place in the dominance hierarchy and that they serve certain functions in the society. There is no flipside to this for men. I’m sure there are actual misandrists in the world but I’ve never come across one.

Women put up with an incredible amount of shit at the hands of the men who buy into patriarchal gender binaries and who feel the need to enforce them. Complaining about that is not misandry, and saying “men” when what you mean is patriarchal culture that allows or turns a blind eye to these behaviors is not misandry either. It’s like saying “the Germans” as in “during WWII the Germans invaded Poland.” Clearly, not all Germans supported that or thought it was right or hated Jews, but none-the-less we don’t delineate that when talking about it.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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