Oh, hell yes to all of this! If men would only realize that a woman who feels safe and respected is going to be up for a lot more than one who feels pawed at against her will……. I honestly think that men who don’t want to ask for consent are afraid of hearing No because patriarchy has taught them they should always be in control, in charge, never vulnerable — and potentially hearing No goes against that in all ways. But you’ve given a lot of good, concrete examples of how to do that in a less vulnerable way that still allows her to have a say-so.

I’ve been married for 26 years and my husband still asks overtly at times. Just like you said, for the most part, he can read my non-verbal cues, but he still outright asks at times. Very good article!

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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