Nothing wrong with treating your man like a king, as long as he is also treating you like a queen. My married experience is the exact opposite of yours though, which isn’t a judgment, just an observation. We always had what I thought was a fairly egalitarian marriage, but when we opened up and became polyamorous, it simultaneously dissolved many of the roles about being husband and wife that we had unconsciously bought into when we married. I had no idea of how many of those there were until we really actively stripped that all away and started building a different kind of relationship.

Now that we consciously co-create our relationship, we don’t really have much of those anymore. If something needs to be done, we figure it out in the moment, based on who is more available, who isn’t dead tired, who likes that chore more than the other, etc. There are times when he waits on me and times when I wait on him, and times when we get our own darned food. But there is no “women’s work” or “men’s work” at our house, and for me, that’s the distinction.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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