More really great stuff here, but I do have one honest question about this part — “As a leader in your relationship.” Is it important for men to feel like the leader in their relationship? To be honest, and I truly don’t mean this in an atagonistic or combative way, I am the leader in my relationship(s) (I’m polyamorous) and I totally hold up the center tent pole in the circus that is our family. It’s this way for most women I know. They are the ones overwhelmingly doing the emotional labor to keep their relationship and their household/family afloat.

My nesting partner is very engaged, a good father, someone who works on himself and our relationship, but it’s usually with my prompting and leadership. He is a very good man in every sense of the word and to his credit is fully capable of holding down the fort when I’m not there. We have a very egalitarian relationship but it’s not even remotely in question who the leader is. I’m just curious to hear a bit more about this subject as a point of discussion, not as a point of contention.

Written by

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store