Men have only led the way for the past 10K years. That’s roughly 3% of human history. For the rest of human history we had a much more egalitarian situation where if anyone led, it was women. They were the clan mothers, priestesses, judges, scribes, artisans, and even at times the warriors and the business leaders. They shared some of those jobs with men, but in most cultures, women actually had higher status until fairly recently. There was little war during this time.

Up until 10K years ago:

“Professor Cyrus Gordon wrote in 1953 of life in ancient Egypt. He tells us that, “In family life, women had a peculiarly important position for inheritance passed through the mother rather than through the father….”

Dr. Murray suggests that “Women’s condition was high, due perhaps to their economic independence.” S.W. Barton writes that in Egyptian papyri, “many women appear as parties in civil litigations and independent business transactions even with their own husbands and fathers.” One of the earliest archeologists of the pyramids, Sir William Flinders Petrie, wrote in 1925 that “In Egypt, all property went in the female line, the woman was the mistress of the house, and in early tales she is represented as having entire control of herself and the place.”

Discussing the position of women in ancient Egypt, theologian and archeologist Roland de Vaux wrote in 1965 that “In Egypt the wife was often the head of the family, with all the rights such a position entailed.” Obedience was urged upon husbands in the maxims of Ptah-Hotep.”

When God Was A Woman, Merlin Stone

It was only with the northern tribes that brought patriarchy that we began to see social inequity and warfare as a thing that was lionized. It’s the difference between worshipping the goddess, the mother who gives life and worshipping the warlike gods of the mountains who bring death and destruction. Life was better for both men and women before we went down that path.

I haven’t gone there — yet in my writings because it would be a very research-intensive post. Based on what I’ve written so far along these lines, I get a ton of backlash and disbelief even when I do thoroughly cite what I’m saying. It is on my back-burner, none-the-less.

Women have never been spoiled. They were equal partners who pulled their weight, and then they became possessions who had few rights. That only shifted in America within the past 50. That’s not my definition of spoiled. In my own relationship, I also pulled my weight as most modern women do. The emotional and caring labor that most women do far outstrips that of the men in their lives. In other words, most men hold one job. Most women hold at least two or three (mostly unpaid). If a man had to pay for the services he gets “for free” from his “spoiled” wife, a lot of men wouldn’t be able to afford it. Even women who work full-time jobs outside the home still do the overwhelming amount of home-keeping and childcare. If they out-earn their husbands, they end up doing even more of that kind of work as some kind of sick payback.

So, I’m sorry, but your story is just that…. a story that men have told themselves.

“2. Men are victimized by women because they go off to fight wars, taking all the risks and hardship in order to keep women safe. Women presumably sit at home with their feet up.

Again, last time I checked, men start all the wars (women are not in enough positions of power in the government or military for it to be otherwise). The wars are quite often for the economic interests of a few men at the top of the patriarchal hierarchy, leaving lower-value men and women to take the brunt of most of the hardship.

And in the case of having to defend ourselves against aggressors, men haven’t done this alone in recent memory (although probably really not ever). Women have been always been spies and resistance fighters, as well as nurses, doctors and ambulance drivers near the front lines. “Over sixteen hundred female nurses received various decorations for courage under fire (in WWII).”

WACS and WAVES were integral parts of the WWII war effort, repairing planes, driving trucks and flying supply missions.

Women enlisted “for the duration plus six months”. They served not only in the Army (WAC), but also with the Navy (WAVES) and Coast Guard (SPARs). Although never officially members of the armed forces, Women Air Force Service Pilots (WASPs) provided critical support for the war effort.

Millions of women like Rosie the Riveter worked in shipyards and factories, very often providing munitions and war supplies. And what about all of the unpaid work, planting Victory gardens and running previously 2-parent families single-handedly while trying to work outside the home? And that was all 60 years ago.

Women have been progressively more involved in dangerous areas and combat-related missions with every succeeding conflict. To say nothing of the fact that as of 2015 nearly all combat jobs in the military are now open to women and that selective services laws, which only apply to males, have been enacted by overwhelmingly male governing bodies.

Conclusion: Women don’t just sit comfortably and safely at home being “protected” during wartime.”

Women who want open marriages are not victimizing their men either. Overwhelmingly, it’s done with both partner's full agreement and I can tell you from personal experience that the person who benefits most (other than the woman herself) from a fully sexually self-expressed woman is the primary man in her life. I have a male Medium friend who has confirmed this as being true in his open marriage, so it’s not just a woman’s perspective.

“In other words, for most of human history, men were not looked upon as the head of the household, the leader of the tribe, or more important than women. Women were revered as the givers of life, and men did not have primacy or power over them. In fact, in Çatalhöyük, a settlement of about 10,000 from the Neolithic era, where extensive archeological artifacts have been discovered, giving great insight into the way the society functioned, it is clear that the inhabitants were both egalitarian, non-hierarchical, and largely peaceful.”

Sorry if I’ve swamped you, but I’ve read, thought, and written about all of this fairly extensively. You are speaking from a cultural narrative, but as is the case with a lot of those, once you scratch the surface, there is little truth to them.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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