Lovely to hear from you, as usual. Enjoy your latest round of apoplexy! I’ve already described what receptive body language is. But here’s some more about that for your education:

“The ability to understand and to interpret body language can help you to pick up on unspoken issues, problems or negative feelings that other people might have. You can also use it in a positive way to add strength to your verbal messages.

Negative body language includes:

  • Folded arms.
  • Tense facial expression.
  • Body turned away from you.
  • Poor eye contact.

Positive body language includes:

  • Open body position (arms unfolded).
  • Upright posture.
  • Relaxed and open facial expression.
  • Arms hanging relaxed by the sides.
  • Regular eye contact.”

UCLA research has shown that only 7% of communication is based on the actual words we say. As for the rest, 38% comes from tone of voice and the remaining 55% comes from body language.

If you look at the image used for this story and can’t clearly tell whether or not they are receptive to each other’s attentions, you may possibly be on the autism spectrum. In which case, you’ll have to be a lot more intentional about using words to ascertain interest. Perhaps you should join a kink community. In general, they have a really great track record around consent.

“‘From pre-negotiations to post-mortems — just talking about things before, after and all the way throughout — it really just comes down to communication and making sure that everybody is on the same page,’ explains Blake. ‘Most consent violations happen because people are selfish and don’t have the communication tools to find out what’s going on with the other person, but most of us want to be having sex with people who genuinely want to be having sex with us. ‘There is nothing sexier than getting that information from your partner.’

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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