I’ve only been tied with shibari one time, and jute rope was used. I really liked the whole experience for many of the same reasons you named. It was artistic, and because it took time to do, there was a different kind of focus and connection going on between me and my partner. The others we were playing with admired how I looked all tied, not just from a sexy perspective, but from an artistic one.

For me D/s play is very bonding because there is so much trust involved. I got into a bit of a disagreement in a comment the other day with a guy who was insisting that kink is not healthy and that because I was in it, I didn’t have the capability to have any discernment around how destructive it is. Needless to say, that didn’t go over very well with me. It’s not entirely intuitive that voluntary submission with someone you care about and trust has a lot of positive elements, but I’ve found that to be true. I also like to be the top at times, but that has an entirely different energy to it. I spend so much of my life being in control, spinning 12 plates at once, and holding up the center tent pole of our lives, that giving that all up temporarily feels really freeing to me.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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