I’ve heard/read this time and again…. that it’s such a part of life as a woman than many become somewhat inured to it, even though it chips away at them, none-the-less. I’ve lived that myself. As you may have noticed by some of the things I’ve written recently, I am now past the place where I don’t say something.

A while back a guy on-line (not on Medium) who was ostensibly one of the moderators of a group, was making really passive-agressive snarky comments to me. I called him on it — asked him how any of what he was saying was relevant to the convesation at hand (it wasn’t) and if he was just trying to shut me up by saying them. He immediately back-peddled and apologized, but I didn’t know if he didn’t realize how offensive he was being (just a guy used to having women defer to him) or if he really was being a bully and knew it. In any case, for whatever reason, the accomodating “nice girl” is dead and there will be no more politeness in the face of some guy’s offensive behavior. But it took a long, long time to get there. The training for that is deeply ingrained.

Written by

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store