I’ve been thinking about writing something on this for a while, but maybe now I don’t have to since you already did it so well and so thoroughly. My pair-bond and I were together for 20 years of traditional monogomous marriage before we decided to open things up. We still live together, share a home and raise a child and have all the comforts and stability of that, but now also see other people. We’ve chosen to only do that as a couple, which makes some things simpler and some more complicated, but it’s given us kind of the best of both worlds.
I really recognize monogamy as a patriarchal structure at this point in my life, although people should, of course, do what works for them. However, we live in such a deeply monogamy oriented society that most people don’t think there is any other real choice. It takes some doing to shift gears and create boundaries, because there aren’t any inherent ones, but it’s definitely doable.