I’ve been reading more about that aspect as I did research for this piece. Some of it is not wanting to have to believe bad things about people you’d like to think good things about (our beloved football team, that nice young man who x,y, z) and some of it is not wanting to have to face the fact that you too might be vulnerable in some way. I have a friend who was raped at gunpoint and a certain percentage of her friends told her afterwards about how that wouldn’t have happened to them. It’s a cruel, reflexive atttempt at self-preservation.
And all that being said and acknowledged, we have got to stop revictimzing and further traumatizing those who have been hurt enough already! It’s inexcusable!!