I’m quite sure he doesn’t like being told I feel sorry for him, but I do. As researcher Brene’ Brown points out:
Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.
Through my research, I found that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It’s the magic sauce.
Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous.
James is plenty “masculine” in a lot of traditional ways (high powered job, leader, etc.) but he also doesn’t need to control everything and least of all the people who love him. That is what my point really is — there are plenty of ways to not be some man-bunned “sensitive guy” and still embrace a lot from Eisler’s partnership model.
Also, if you read my Three-way stories, I talked about how much I like someone who is more assertive and has what is considered masculine energy in bed, even from women (although in their case, I don’t want them to look that way, just have that kind of energy). I’m not looking for some kind of softness from James or any other man, it’s more about someone who doesn’t need to act like they are better than me, or that they have rights over me just because they are male. And vulnerability isn’t softness — it takes great courage. I also think that James and I have a lot more fun and deep connection that people who are so hellbent on controlling other people.