I'm not trying to pick a further fight here, but you are again making a lot of assumptions. Jay did not get your point, which is why he asked for clarification. Here's what he said in his initial comment: "Oh Elle this is wonderful. So many hang ups of my younger days were tied up in idiotic anxiety about cock size and performance. Once I realized mutual laughter and trustworthiness were the most potent tools in my possession (that and a bit of knowledge of how women’s bodies work), it all became so much easier and better. Many claps for this!"

This was very much what I was going for, that a man can be a great lover without an impressive cock - because it's not the most important thing about him. Also, most dick pics are not about sexual expression - they are about sexual aggression towards women. This is not in question. It's a pretty definitive thing. In many jurisdictions, unsolicited dick pics are criminal and considered to be cyber-harassment. Can we always know which one is intended? Probably not but in many cases, we can know. Teaching guys to celebrate healthy sexuality is something I definitely support. Continuing to encourage entitled male sexuality that is aggressive and abusive to women, which is an undeniably rampant thing, is not.

But that wasn't really the focus of this story. It wasn't about dick pics. It was about dick profile pics on dating sites, which are a rather different thing, and more generally about men having a broader and more nuanced sexuality than cultural narratives sometimes indicate to them, because I said in the OP, dicks are great. I love them! And they aren't the most important thing about a man, even in a casual encounter, because just like a woman, he is a whole person with a lot to offer and someone who doesn't recognize that is probably going to be lacking as a lover. That was the point of the story, which Jay really did get and resonate with.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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