I’m not accusing you of being a terrible ogre who maintains his relationship through violence. I’m simply commenting about how “In other words, wild wolf packs actually mirror in many (but not all) ways the relational dynamics work of internationally known systems scientist, Riane Eisler.” And also how actual wolf packs are more representative of the partnership end of that spectrum than the mythical Alpha, from which some modern day men take their cues, which is more on the dominance end of the spectrum.

It’s a topic that I’ve been wanting to write about for some time but when you provided me with quotes that directly illustrated the points I was trying to make, it was clearly time to bring it all together and publish it. I write what is asking to be written inside of me, and that was a piece whose time was ripe and ready.

You yourself have frquently used the word patriarchy and patriarchial to describe the way you go through life and what your intimate relationship is like. If you are seeking to distance yourself from the inherent negative meaning of those terms, perhaps you should start using other words.




  1. a system of society or government in which the father or eldest male is head of the family and descent is traced through the male line.
  • a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.

Patriarchy is the term used to describe the society in which we live today, characterised by current and historic unequal power relations between women and men whereby women are systematically disadvantaged and oppressed. This takes place across almost every sphere of life but is particularly noticeable in women’s under-representation in key state institutions, in decision-making positions and in employment and industry. Male violence against women is also a key feature of patriarchy. Women in minority groups face multiple oppressions in this society, as race, class and sexuality intersect with sexism for example.

Patriarchy, by it’s very nature is a dominance based system. QED

And if you’d bothered to really pay attention to or look at the link re the Eisler system you would already understand that partnership IS a leadership style. It doesn’t just mean operating with partners.

Leadership based on power over: man who gives orders to subordinates that must be unquestioningly obeyed. (dominance model)

Leadership based on power to (woman or man who nurtures and supports productivity and creativity) AND/OR power with (encourages and participates in teamwork) (partnership model)

Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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