I’m going to challenge the quote that says that dominance play is about making your partner a subhuman object. On the contrary, that kind of sexual contact requires an extreme amount of trust and therefore in many ways greater connection and respect. It’s an intricate dance that takes place on a much subtler level than the great perponderance of “vanilla” sex. In many, many ways I’ve found the world of kink to actually embody healthy sexuality in a way that more mainstream society could learn a lot from.

This is in part because everything is negotiated and consented to beforehand. A “top” or dom doesn’t just get to abuse the “bottom” or sub at will. The relationship and what will take place in it is completely agreed to beforehand. In many ways, the bottom actually has the greater amount of power. This may not make sense to people (psychologists) who are trying to impose traditional sexual mores onto this dynamic, but it doesn’t make it any less true.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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