I’m explaining how she got there — the dominance hierarchy. And the author repeatedly said that she loved her mother. The people who have the most compassion also have the best boundaries. That’s what Brene Brown’s research determined. She thought that maybe it was that they were all spiritual or some other factor. Nope, turns out its boundaries. You can love someone and still not tolerate their poor behavior (a large part of what parenting is.)

The world is a horrible place. Many people, me included, have been systemically harmed their entire lives by a social system that demands stratification and constant comparison to the people around you so that they can try to claw their way up. That’s something worth talking about. I’m sure as hell not going to shut up about it, and I’m white!!!!

The world is also a wonderful, beautiful place — but you can’t improve something if you don’t acknowledge that anything is wrong.

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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