I wasn’t offering to coach you, per se. I was just making an observation that comes out of my professional expertise. But yes, coaching is different from counseling in that it is goal oriented and forward focused — not about rehashing old wounds, etc. I think you might really benefit from it. I work with someone on a regular basis as well, because it’s not about knowledge or tools, it’s about using the process of having a dedicated listener and a safe space to really work with what is going on for you and get clearer about that, as well as what you’d like to do about it. I highly recommend it and would be happy to help you find a good coach in your area should you ever want that.

I would very much like to continue to be good friends and to listen to each other. I think that’s how actual progress gets made in the world, when people who have different life experiences share their perspectives and really listen to each other.

Please say more about the good girl double bind because I’m not sure I understand. I am not a “good girl” by any stretch of the imagination and I’ve worked hard to be that way. I want to be a kind and caring human being who blesses others more often than I hurt them, but I am always going to speak my mind and will not sacrifice my truth or voice for someone else’s comfort. And that is what I do with you — tell you what my truth is (not The Truth, because I’m not sure that’s a knowable thing). It never comes from malice or intended antagonism. I am not afraid to make mistakes or fall down. I don’t care what other people think of me, etc. I am not a “good girl.” So what exactly do you mean by that.

Looking forward to further conversation…….

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Dispelling cultural myths with research-driven stories. My favorite word is “specious.” Not fragile like a flower; fragile like a bomb! Twitter @ElleBeau

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